I am finding that the novelty of lockdown has worn thin, and frankly, I’m struggling with it all. At first, the lockdown was a new challenge to meet. Responding to these first adjustments to my life gave me something new to conquer. Now, it’s week six, and I am, well, wearied by it all. I feel like I am running a marathon with the finishing line nowhere in sight. I need a fresh injection of hope to keep sane.
I have resorted to staring at the infographic from my last post to keep me on the white line of life. And another thing; I’m watching my self-talk – it drifts off centre. When my self-talk drifts, my mental health slides with it disabling me further. A normally well-ordered life begins a downward plunge into chaos. On these days sucess is making it to bed time.
Arresting my mental decline becomes my new goal. And I have been thinking about my positive routines. I need to treasure them and keep them well maintained.
It sounds counter-intuitive, but once I appreciate my daily routines, seeing them as a positive, I can exercise gratitude for them. Showing appreciation for my habits is a skill that I have developed in later life. I now find that I like my routines; they are my friends. I see them as boundary markers: inside them, I am free to express myself in an endless variety of ways. But, if I treat them casually, then orange lights start to light on my emotional dashboard. These helpful habits provide me with boundary markers that help me stay in the safe zone. And, in the safe zone, I feel more in control – a little like the Ten Commandments really.
New routines may help us to cope with change and helps us form healthy habits, and in turn, this reduces our stress levels.
Can you help?
I’m collecting stories:
I am interested to hear how you are coping with the lockdown. How has it affected your mental and emotional health, and what strategies have you put in place to help?
Please tell me about your routines. Have they changed since our lockdown?
When did you last venture out?
Drop me a line, and your comments could form the foundation of another post. Thank you so much.
In this post, I am using a striking info-graphic that came to me from my daughter, Jo, in Sydney. This image speaks to me. In its condensed way, it helps me to measure up to the challenges of lockdown.
To a large extent, I can choose my response to the challenge of confinement. Confinement is not easy, but I can turn the situation into a growth experience if I make the right choices. I can make considered responses if I have something or someone to inspire me. For me, my faith plays a vital role here. And as I look through the Learning Zone to the Growth Zone, each statement inspires me to change for the better. I am drawn forward.
By starting with the opening question “Who do I want to be?” I check myself, and I am inspired to reach forward. Progressing through the Zones, I quickly begin to measure the state of my attitude.
To succeed, I must face the Learning and Growth Zones and turn my back on the Fear Zone. The Fear Zone only wants to pull me backwards and make me a victim of my appetites, emotions, words, and my reactions. And that is not a good place for me to live.
Suppose I stand in the Learning Zone. If I look towards the Growth Zone and meditate on the statements there, I can create new aspirations for my attitudes and behaviour. Wanting to grow will help me to create the right conditions to help me become a bigger person on the inside.
Now, suppose that I am still standing on the Learning Zone, but this time I am facing the Fear Zone. As I focus on the Fear Zone, I begin to dwell on the five statements in that zone. If I allow my mind to be consumed by fear without any kind of critical thinking, I become a victim of the Fear Zone. In the Fear Zone, I am overwhelmed by my lurking worries
In the Fear Zone, I am dominated by what I eat, what I say, what I hear, and what I hoard. It won’t be long before our mental health is hurtling downwards to a dark place.
I have a choice; which zone should I face? By reaching towards the Learning and Growth Zones, I can stretch myself forward by taking control of my thoughts and attitudes. Each statement gives me something concrete and may form a goal for me.
I am in no way suggesting this an easy take, but I am suggesting with the help of those around us, we can move towards the Growth Zone. There is always something to learn, even in tough times. Perhaps especially in tough times.
Here’s what I need to do:
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At a time like this, I need some positives to keep things in perspective. As the old WW2 poster says “Keep calm and carry on.” I have decided to focus on my here and now. Here are my seven suggestions to remain calm and centred:
If you are a writer, like me, I consider it an exciting privilege to write in my Commentarium my everyday observations. Each month I will typically write 12,000 words, and in the present emergency, I feel as if I am writing the first draft of history as seen through my eyes.
These are my musings in these unprecedented days. I would love to hear your thoughts and observations. Stay safe and take hold of our new reality. Now, whatever happened to Brexit?
In the second of two posts about learning from my father, Derreck Parkes, I retell a piece of family folk-lore concerning the building of his garage in the 1960s. This post is taken from my tribute to my Dad at his Celebration of Life, following his death in January 2020.
Ever the engineer, Dad decided to install a rolled steel joist, just in case he needed to lift an engine, as engineers do. In those days, one did all the jobs yourself, and when necessary, one conscripted one’s son, aged 14.
And so it came to pass, that the said steel joist was delivered; to the driveway, some 25 yards away from the construction site. The duly conscripted son, obedient to the last, together with his visionary father embarked upon re-siting the vast chunk of metal to where it could be inserted into the brickwork, lining it up at right angles to the wall.
We were about to start the lift when Mum called us for lunch, but Dad, ever the optimist said, “We’ll just pop it in now then it’s done before we eat”.
Fair enough, I thought having caught his easy pragmatism. And so we started to lift the wall end of the beam, a few inches at a time. Once lodged at the opening in the wall, I thought it was just a matter of levelling the joist and pushing it into place.
However, as we pushed, it began to slide at first but then got stuck. So Dad said, “You hold it there, and I’ll nip round to the other side to free it”. Now the only problem was that with both arms aloft I now bore the full weight of the beam and I began to sink into the lawn.
Seared in my memory to this day is the vision that before lunch, I was 6 foot 4 and slim; after lunch, I was 6 foot and obese. I’ve never recovered, which is why I am as I am to this day!
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